Ups & downs...

24th April 2023

I know how important it is to share a balanced view of recovery or rehabilitation when going through a period of healing from surgery, buidling up strength or managing pain. Recovery is NOT linear and there are ups and downs along the way.

On Friday, I felt a bit groggy and fatigued. I'd had a lovely evening on Thursday, attending an online yoga retreat for a couple of hours. It was gentle, I didn't over do it. Some somatic dancing, light stretching, meditation and mostly laid in goddess pose relaxing. I hoped i'd wake up feeling refreshed and brand new the next day!

I arrived at hydrotherapy. "How are you today?" the physio said 'Tired' I said, 'A bit wiped out'. The movements and stretches in the water were unusually heavy and painful. I had to take it down a notch effort wise. The physio suggested the lighter feeling I experienced a few weeks back could have been a release in restriction from scar tissue. This is a good thing, however the 'tear'may be causing some pain.

I couldn't find my words, I felt like a zombie. I thought to myself - I wonder how close I am to my period? It could be inflammation in my body and around my torso from endometriosis. I checked my tracker and I was two days from the projected start date of my period.

I got back home and went to bed, I woke up on Saturday a bit slow too, met a friend for a quick brunch. I felt out of puff as I walked from my car to the cafe. I hadn't felt this way for a while. I experienced some sharp stabbing, electrical pulse type pains in my torso and diaphragm area later in the day. Sunday was a quiet day, I listened to my body and took it very easy. I encouraged myself to go for a walk with NBH in the early evening to get some food for dinner. A short walk, but I knew I needed to keep moving even if just gently or for a short time.

That brings us to today, Monday morning, still no period (my last one was a bit delayed too). It's strange as my periods have always been like clockwork, regular, same cycle length and period length. This uncertainty has left me confused over the past couple of months. The lower back pain, muscle aches, fatigue and loss of words are now my cue that it's on it's way. Perhaps peri-menopausal symptoms? It's hard to know.

This morning, I woke up and felt exhausted, I had a hydrotherapy session booked for 11am but could not muster the energy to get myself moving let alone the drive and the activity and getting back home. Instead, I cancelled my session and had a slow start with the dogs, a healthy smoothie and a relaxing bath to ease my muscles and torso.

It made me realise how important it is to take a step back, review where we are, how we feel, what we need. I haven't missed a hydro session in 5 weeks, twice a week I have attended and been consistent. Today I knew pushing myself was not the right approach. I needed to take stock, reflect and rest. I'll be doing my physio exercises later, if I can, and will be back to hydro on Friday... and thats OK!

LBH x