Balance

4th May 2023

Balance, that non obtainable variable in our lives.

How do you balance your health, work, relationships, rest, exercise and social life?

How do you balance all of these things, whilst in severe pain, with any tiny adjustment and forward move causing additional fatigue, exhaustion and pain?

What if you're also battling the person you were before you had a finite amount of energy? What if you're fighting to be heard, understood and supported whilst you rebuild you resilience, confidence and stamina too?

It's EXHAUSTING!

My physio really helped me understand the idea of 'payback'. She said that many patients suffering with pain and fatigue or fatigue from long covid talk about the idea of 'payback'. You work just a little too much, you over do it in a physio session, you spend a little too long out with family and friends one day and run out of time to rest and you are paying back for the effort and cost it took from your body and/or mind for doing it.

She wants me to start tracking the effort and impact on my energy levels when I work, exercise and socialise.

How much energy does it take for me to work vs how many hours i'm working, strengthening rehabilitation activities (physio, hydrotherapy, pilates rehab and walking) how does that impact my pain levels and energy levels, socialising - (she explained the importance of trying to start socialising more for my mental health and how I might need to rest afterwards but that it would be good for me. How does this impact my energy levels and how can I make these activities less energy zapping? E.g. Can I work from home? Can I take a taxi when i'm out and about? Can I shorten my social activities? Can I take naps?|

I need to focus on ONE main thing a day that zaps my energy reserves. So if I’m working, no physio or long walks. If I’m at hydrotherapy, no walking or working. I shouldn’t be trying to do my pilates and stretching exercises on the same day that I have hydrotherapy. This is temporary whilst I build back up my stamina and strength. She is positive there is room for improvement to give me that consistency I need to do things again going forwards.

She recommended using the app Bearable to try to track some of these areas of my life and how they impact my energy levels and health. The Bearable app is meant to help discover what improves & worsens your health. I should be able to start seeing correlations between my health and habits with sleep, exercise, symptoms and food. I can add work and physio as activities and it can map them against each other and my mood, energy etc. After a while I should be able to see the impacts and make positive changes to improve my health and lifestyle.

She encouraged me to think about my priorities, what is it I want to prioritise? I said it has to be my health and my strength and stamina, without these I won’t be able to do any of the things I want to do. In order to get back to work consistently I need to focus on my strength. It was my consultant and head physio who suggested I stay off work an additional 4 weeks to focus on hydrotherapy and strengthening in order to give me a chance to progress. I have moved forwards leaps and bounds in that time. The suggestion was maintaining flexibility at work with my hours and being able to slowly increase the hours in order to maintain the rehabilitation process so that we move forwards and not keep falling back and requiring pauses in not only my career, friendships and health but my life!

I am due to go away for a long weekend as the first of a few of my 'special birthday' celebrations. I keep getting worried about being able to manage the trip and not having the 'payback' afterwards for using up too much energy. She said it isn't wrong to go away, it could be good for you, but you will need to rest if you're travelling. What can you do to counteract the strain on your body, energy levels and mind? I said I could take a day or two to rest afterwards and extend my holiday from work. She suggested I could nap every day (I am not so good at this but something I need to learn) - I negotiated and said I could sit on the rooftop and enjoy the views/sunshine instead. I can take taxi's instead of walking too far.

I am working on this 'Balance' thing and will let you know how I get on! Also what insights I start to get from the Bearable app. It's much easier than me tracking on a spreadsheet!

LBH x